It just happened.

anendlessneed @ 2007-08-06T19:45:00

2007-08-07T02:46:12Z

damn son, it has been a minute. let's bring LJ back! syke!

anendlessneed @ 2006-09-26T19:26:00

2006-09-27T02:48:29Z

Review: MCRs "Remember Her Name": an excellent MCR quality track.

MCR has been on a roll these past few months with "Daylight Fades" and "RHN." He and Keith are the best musicians I know. Period. End of discussion.

Also, BJ, if you are reading this. Get your shit together. I have noticed in the past month, that you are in a downward, destructive spiral, for various reasons, but still, that is no excuse...You know I am blunt and don't give have that great of sense of so called soical propriety. But BJ, you need to remember you are better than you think you are in all of aspects of life. Seriously, hold yourself to a higher standard because you are worth it and you can realize/achieve it. In case you haven't noticed, I don't make and keep friends with pieces of shit. Rather I tend to associate myself with really classy individuals, you being one such person. All my love.

Also, David Bedford is a very classy individual. (Only Collin would get this joke, but seeing as Collin has been missing for 3 1/2 years, I guess no one would get it now.)

We must remember that we are in a very important time in our lives. We are no longer high schoolers, or young college kids, with so much potential about what our life could possibly hold in the future. We are current creating, realizing and beginning to somewhat cement out lives and who we are as people. Thus, I suggest one must take the utmost precaution and how they spend their time and whom the associate with. We are no longer just silly kids but slowly yet rapidly metamorphosing into adults. Good luck and good night.

anendlessneed @ 2006-09-13T08:47:00

2006-09-13T16:10:34Z

Honestly, I don't know how many people even look at my lack a journal anymore. Four, I would hope. Regardless...

So I served my civic duty yesterday and went to the courthouse for jury duty. Amazing how many people complained about jury duty who were there and how many people replied "that sucks" when I told them about my fate in the weeks prior. Honestly, I don't understand why people think it is such a bad thing. Rather it is one of the few beautiful political ideas still realistically practiced in our country. Jury duty is indeed one of the few places where citizens have the direct choice to impact the society they live. A group of strangers come together and have a direct and lasting impact on other's life. A novel idea really; a jury of one's peers. My experience of serving on a jury showed me two things, how incredible self-absorb our the majority of our population has become and that there is some shred of intelligence left in humanity after all, not much, mind you, but at least there is some.

Yet, let me digress and discuss the self-absorbance of American society. Frankly, some many people give only a fuck about themselves and those who they care about that it cripples them physically, mentally, and socially. In the four months after graduating college I have realized many things but one being paramount, the majority of the population's days are spent in a quest to gain envy from others. Honestly, i think 99.999999999999999% of the population in the US, care primarily about how other's perceive them, and it is absolutely revolting. I have seen this first hand working for Nike in the retail department, thus becoming more keenly aware. Ironically, everyone is trying sooooo hard to impression everyone else that no one gives a shit about anyone else but themselves, thus wasting people's efforts in creating a persona. The realization that we are truly just visiting this life is one of the more powerfully impacting ideas I have come across. To quote MCR "So you know I don’t judge em on material worth/It’s all about substance, where you from kid?"

Growing up is interesting, it is funny to see people who I was a kid with stop dreaming and become pieces of shit and think that it is a pretty good life. But if you are not directly positively impact your community then you need to readjust the focus of your life.

anendlessneed @ 2006-09-07T22:11:00

2006-09-08T05:12:09Z

what if we just lived our life under the pretense that we were "just visiting" the world in this human form?

anendlessneed @ 2006-08-18T17:34:00

2006-08-19T00:34:48Z

what are you doing to help your community?

anendlessneed @ 2006-08-15T15:21:00

2006-08-15T22:24:38Z

we must realize that 99.9999% of the human population in the world sucks at life...a lot!

honestly i think the majority of clinically retarded people are vastly more intelligent than the general population. (I want sticker.)

anendlessneed @ 2006-08-10T13:19:00

2006-08-10T20:19:17Z

Beck is rap?

anendlessneed @ 2006-07-11T09:03:00

2006-07-11T16:03:55Z

John C. Calhoun is my nigga!

If you see one movie this year.....

2006-06-05T00:54:11Z

see "an inconvenient truth"

pledge to see the documentary and help send a message...

http://www.climatecrisis.net/seethetruth/

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-13T04:39:00

2006-05-13T08:28:20Z

EXCITE BIKE, SOCCER MODE, ON N64 = most legit game of all times.

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-12T01:01:00

2006-05-12T04:50:49Z

Portland City Flag

History: In 1969, at the suggestion of Mayor Terry Schrunk, the Portland Art Commission established a special committee to select a designer for an official city flag. It chose Douglas Lynch, former president of the Art Commission and a prominent local graphic design professional and teacher. After extensive research and consultation with art commission members and city commissioners, he proposed a design in a process he called �as much diplomatic as it was artistic�. The Portland City Council adopted the flag in January 1970. In 2002, with the encouragement of the Portland Flag Association, Mr. Lynch simplified and improved the design, and the revised version was adopted by Ordinance 176874 on September 4, 2002.

Symbolism: Green symbolizes Oregon�s forests, which surround Portland. The intersecting vertical and horizontal blue stripes represent the Columbia and Willamette Rivers, with the central white star (technically, a �hypocycloid�) signifying Portland at their confluence. The yellow stripes symbolize the harvest of golden yellow grain (Portland is a major exporter of wheat) and the gold of commerce. The white stripes are merely decorative. The offset cross is not intended to resemble a Scandinavian cross. The design inspired the logo of the Port of Portland.

Locations: The City Flag flies in front of the Portland Building (5th Avenue) and City Hall (4th Avenue), in Pioneer Courthouse Square, and on many other commercial buildings around the city. It also hangs in the City Council Chamber and the Portland Building�s 2nd-Floor Auditorium.

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-11T10:52:00

2006-05-11T15:20:24Z

That is it.

Well, I just finished my undergraduate studies. And to tell the truth, I feel like I should really just be beginning. But, maybe that is the purpose of all the rigors college puts you through, so when you exit, you are better off then you came and read to be a positive, productive catalyst in the world.

A lot of people ask me what is my next pursuit, as if I should immediately know where I am going next or jump back into studying in fear of experiencing an environment where certain luxuries are not guaranteed. As of now, the next chapter of my life is blank. There is no plan, no outline, nothing. Very well I could die the next day, however my ego is afraid of such a reality, so I hide behind the masturbatory idea of some kind of pseudo-immortality. Why gather and collect, save and accumulate? Really, it is the fundamental characteristic of greed foster by the ego which perpetuates all anyone in our civilization ever does.

Avarice. I caution you to turn your attention to it. Your whole life, the food you eat, your faith, the things you do are all centered around avarice. There is not one person who would rather have nothing than more of something. This is the fundamental flaw of society. Think of all the stuff you have, food, money, clothes, luxury items. Could you walk away from the all at the drop of the hat? No. Why not? Because this is what defines you. You are your money, because you worked to get it. You are your food, because you bought/made it. I am not saying throw it all away, disattach yourself from it, realize your stuff is not you and you have no realtion to it. NONE!

Acceptance is conformity......Acceptance is conformity...... Anytime you seek acceptance you compromise yourself and conform to fit the model with the other identiy has created. In many ways, you are killing yourself. The easy example is religion, for example Christianity. Christians tell that Christ's love is unconditional. However, I would argue it is one of the most conditional loves EVER.

All I have to ask is two questions:

1) If one didn’t believe in Jesus as savior would he still save and love that person?

2) What if belief in Jesus didn't equate to eternal salvation? Can one accept, and love, and have faith in, Jesus without the idea of any reward from him? Just love for the sake of love?

Honestly, think about it......people only accept Jesus because its is preached that you will be rewarded for your faith with eternal life. This is the grosses example of AVARICE I have ever come across. This holds for any monotheistic religion, Judaism/Islam, as well. Keeping with the Christian example, additionally, Jesus is said only to have unconditional love for those who accept him. To me, unconditional love means someone love something no matter what, what if they are a Buddhist, Native America Shaman, who has never heard or been exposed to the idea of Jesus, would Jesus still love them? Also, if one knew of Jesus and went ahead and raped, killed, stole, lied, rejected or ignorant JC's existence, then, if it is truly unconditional, that being with love you no matter what. No need to pray, no need to worship nothing. However, this is the trapping of religion. An eye for eye.

I say this not to stir people up and get them all mad and poop their pants. Rather I bring up these points so people can SEE THEMSEVLES FOR WHO THEY ARE EXACTLY, AND BE AWARE OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN THEIR LIVES, EXACTLY WHY THEY ARE DOING IT AND IT WHAT END IT IS DIRECTED. My four years in NYC has taught me personal awareness is more important than GOD, because without being aware you cannot realize that you are GOD !

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-05T23:36:00

2006-05-06T03:25:52Z

worth every penny!

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-04T13:22:00

2006-05-04T17:35:17Z

dude. i am in the computer lab right now throwing down a paper. and there is this white columbia boner who is being the biggest asshole to this asian girl he is trying to help. for the last half hour he has basically told here is fucked up her assignment, can't accuratly copy data, accused her on not pay attention, and basically treating her as stupid. I mean she is asian, but damn even I wouldn’t be this much of an asshole. And the great thing is I bet he is trying to impress her, in order to get some pussy, by showing her out fucking smart he is and how dumb she is. I want to lean over and tell him, "yo, son, playas don't work for pussy." She may have some worng data here and there, but big deal. You are are trying to get with her at least try to make her feel a little bit good about herself.

This brings me to another point, why motherfuckas gotta always be "right"? like you know those kids, "we always have to play by the rules of the game for it to be fun" or "colour is spelled c-o-l-o-r" or "your answer is 523.0000001 when it should be 523.00000001," when you did all the math right, but just added an extra zero, or "if i don't pary 5 times a day i am going to hell." or "if i eat a sinckers bar i will get fat" or.....ok, sorry, this just turned into a rant about people and their inability to recognize their neurosises.

anendlessneed @ 2006-05-02T17:02:00

2006-05-02T20:52:28Z

freedom of speech is contextual. 1426183. you?

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-30T16:04:00

2006-04-30T19:55:17Z

Should I get a tattoo like this guy and take steroids and become a walking terd?

ps. This is the only image that google came up with when I typed in the phrase "throbbing penis."

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-27T18:51:00

2006-04-27T22:42:29Z

MC Radiation:

please update your songfiles so that they are all ZIP files. I need that shit on my ipod son!

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-27T14:03:00

2006-04-27T18:24:15Z

I know Vilt has been feeling a little poopy lately about various things:

I offer this to him, and everyone else, if they choose to accept it,

"Just be totally honest with yourself. If you make a mistake, admit it to yourself and get on with it. Don't cover up your errors. The whole spiritual journey is a continuous falling on your face. And you get up and brush yourself off, and you get on with it. If you were perfect you wouldn't even go on a journey. Don't be afraid of making errors. You may choose the wrong teacher, you may get into a method that is no good. Many things can happen." Don't be ashamed of your actions, it is your personal journey. Your journey is not special, unique or better than any other person's journey, just different.

People that are “perfect,” “holy,” “pious,” etc who say the right number of prayers everyday, who mediate for exactly the right number of minutes, eat the right food, are nothing but mimickers. To try to be a Buddha, a Christ, a Moses, an Abraham, just because they did, doesn’t get you anywhere. It just makes you a mimicker, which is far worse than being a sinner or collecting karma. Be honest with yourself, be authentically you. Your path resonates deeply from within you, when your heart is open. Repression is sin at its greatest, for that means your are trying not to deal with a problem, an error, something that inherently deep within you that you do not enjoy based totally on your unaltered view of yourself, instead, you are merely trying to forget it, but we do not forget what we repress. Rather, we cling to repressed feels, deep, deep inside. However it is better to drop these feelings and move on, than pretend to drop them through repression, and still cling to them for the rest of your journey, just because some crowd of people you are involved with does not approve.

Again, total untainted honesty. A zen koan asks, "What was your original face before your parents were born?" Before, Zen, before you were artificially taught through the clinging of the knowledge of the intellect the ideas of Buddha, Christ, Abraham, God, Krishna, etc, we were authentic. Now, however, as long as we cling to these figures, teachings, religions, organized communities, relationships, ideas of the afterfuture, etc, we are just mimickers, the greatest of all sins and errors. If you can know God without being taught by someone else about the idea of God, then you will be God, or in other words, understating perfect harmony and rhythm.

Words are like birds, they fly from one horizon and fly out towards the other.

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-20T00:25:00

2006-04-20T04:16:06Z

Is it just me or is he on a porch of some sort?

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-20T00:22:00

2006-04-20T04:12:34Z

Fat is the New Black.

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-13T15:15:00

2006-04-13T19:14:32Z

Fuck Jesus.
Fuck Buddha.
Fuck Krishna.
Fuck Mohammad.
and all their answers to the meaning of life.

the real question that needs to answered is this:

Why do black guys LOVE fat white chicks?

Anyone have any answers?

CHECK IT:
I saw a porch monkey sleeping (as usual) on the lawn today in the middle of campus
with not one, but TWO butterballs. I mean even Vilt, no matter how CRUNK'D
he could be, would not fuck with these hoes. Bitches had their own orbits.
So, how/why does this coon nigga
get/want two...two tons....of white bitch lovin?
I mean he had his head in position to eat a fur burger today for lunch, right there
on the lawn, ya dig?
It boggles the motherfuckin mind! Bieeeeeeact!

anendlessneed @ 2006-04-12T16:50:00

2006-04-12T20:42:47Z

SUP Y'ALL
READ the brothers karamazov BUY DAT RUSSIN NIGG dostoevsky.
THIS BOOK IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN BREATING AIR. I PROMISE.

I might be a women-beater but I'm not a PUSSY-eater.

2006-04-09T17:23:01Z

look, let me make something
abundantly clear for people
who are so bereft of activities
they feel like they gotta comment
on every one of mine.
first of all being a vegetarian should
never be associated with being
a revolutionary or being open-minded.
that's a dietary choice.
if someone wants to proliferate the
type of ignorance we're supposed to
be fighting by thinking that,
you're just fucking yourself.
i don't go around promoting
beef and poetry shoving it in
people's faces.
i don't castigate people for not
eating steak sandwiches;
and i would never diss someone
for being a fucking broccoli-head,
or living off of radishes,
or eating grass or tofu.
i like a lot of vegan cuisine.
but the illogicality of expecting
everyone to adopt their particular
idea of what being healthy is
is just preposterous.
i've seen some of you herbivores;
and if you want to argue health,
y'all need to eat some kind of supplement
because some of y'all are so skinny
that it's disgusting; looking like the
only hip-hop motherfuckers on schindler's list.
being a malnutrition-ass got nothing to do
with being revolutionary or being on-point.
i'll be damned if i let somebody else push
their agenda on me. you know i don't eat pork,
not because i'm a muslim, i just don't
really like it, but i really will
fuck a bird up. and fish is good
when that shit is fresh. it's like my nigga
K.Hall from Valcano Park said, "if you don't like
the smell of burning meat, well then get
the fuck off the planet." you know i don't
criticize people for eating moss,
then don't open your fucking mouth
about my food, man. i like beef
and broccoli motherfucker. mind
your god-damn business. matter of fact...
you know what? fuck it. i'm out.

And then there was one........

2006-04-05T03:17:48Z

Folks, today we lost a good one:

R.I.P. Steven G. Vilt
Running Career: 1997-2006
Youth track, BHS (Ohio), CU

Friend and partner to many
Co-Author of STEPPING THE FUCK UP vol. 1, 2, 3
He helped bring Columbia's first HEPS XC
championship in 25 years to morningside.
May his shins heal and he continue to be "THAT GUY."

a good sweater pic to send the man off right......

Tag Team

2006-03-28T13:18:44Z

Day 7 & 8 of 26
Stacey & Sara

An old timer once said
It aint about the numbers, it's about the pantys.
But how can a nigga get his hands on some
when these badass bitches don't wear none?